Forget Regret
by vonniebeth
Summary: 3rd installment of I'm Here. Dan and Diana's 14 year old daughter Jessica, who was born a year after Natalie died, knows she's not an only child, but her parents won't tell her the truth. Can she somehow get the truth without suspicion? Please R & R.
1. Chapter 1

**okay. It's the sequel to the sequel! This idea hit me suddenly a few days ago and I HAD to write it… but not all credit is mine. Many thanks go out to iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12 who gave me an idea for both the title and a name (which you've probably read in the summary) and my 7 year old sister for influencing the idea (she's really weird btw). This chapter is a little jumpy, but I wanna get into details, so please forgive me for that. Please review**

Diana wanted to cry. She had to cry. It was the trend that would never end. A couple of months after Gabe died, she got pregnant with Natalie. Now it was a year since the day Natalie died, and she was pregnant again. However, she was also alone. She had left Dan about a month earlier to deal with her grief in her own way, but she could tell now that she had to go back… but would Dan allow it? "Probably not," she decided.

A couple of months later, fate brought her other plans. She went to the mall one day, when she heard a familiar voice call, "Di!" Diana turned and saw Dan running towards her. "Diana, thank God you're alive! Why have you been gone this long time? Why won't you come home?"

"Dan," Diana tried to say, but she started crying.

"Diana, it's okay. Come home. I miss you. I've been so lonely all this long time. Come on. Everything'll be alright."

"No it won't. Dan, nothing will ever be alright. I…"

"You're what? It's okay. You can tell me anything."

Diana sighed. _I can't tell him_, she thought. _He can't know that_… "I'm pregnant," Diana blurted out. "I know you probably want nothing to do with it, even though it is our 3rd, so that is why nothing is okay, okay?"

"No. Di, you're wrong. Who said I don't want anything to do with it. Even if it wasn't mine, I'd still want to be there. A child deserves both a mother and a father. I know things have been nuts since Nat died, but we can't give up all hope."

"You're right. I'm sorry. Dan, life just hasn't been going right for any of us. We can't risk messing up this one."

"We won't. It'll be fine. Don't worry. Think about it this way: it wasn't our fault Gabe died, Natalie died cuz people teased her for her dead brother… all we have to do is keep Gabe and Nat a secret. Nobody will ever have to know."

Diana thought for a moment. "That sounds great. Dan, I'm really sorry for leaving you."

"It's okay. All you have to do is come home."

So the next months flew past rather quickly and then the day came when the baby was born. And it was a girl. "What shall we name her?" Diana asked.

Dan did not know what to say. "I think I'm the crazy one now," he said, not bearing to look at the little girl. "She reminds me so much of Nat, like Nat reminded you of Gabe." Dan thought a moment longer. "How about Jessica?"

Diana nodded in agreement. "I like it."

So time went by, and by the time Jessica was 3, she knew something was up. "Daddy," she said to Dan one day. "Why don't I have a sister?"

"Well, technically, you…" Dan began, but then he coughed. "I mean, uh, it's cuz we love you so much, we don't want more."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. I love you, Jess, and so does your mom. Now go on."

"Okay."

She left, and Dan sighed. "That could've gotten bad."

Jessica walked upstairs and noticed a room that she had never been in. She opened the door and saw an old bed, piles of clothes and, truthfully, a big mess. "Why is this room messy?" she wondered out loud.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Diana yelled. She shut the door. "Jessica, do NOT go in there!"

"Why?"

"Because that's where ghosts live."

Jessica's eyes grew wide. "Ghosts?"

"Yes, ghosts."

Jessica screamed and ran downstairs. "GHOSTS!"

A couple minutes later, Dan approached Diana and hit her. "Seriously?" he whispered sharply. "You told our daughter that ghosts live in Natalie's old bedroom?"

"It's possible…" Diana tried to say.

"Look, the point of this is to not kill her. This isn't the most orthodox thing in the world, but, until she's old enough to understand, we have to lie to her."

"Lie? Dan, I don't know…"

"Well, she can never know about Gabe and Nat. Do I make that clear? And tell her that there are no such things as ghosts. The only ghosts that live here are your hallucinations."

Dan left and Diana reluctantly went to tell Jessica that there were no such things as ghosts.


	2. Chapter 2

**okay, so I'm taking a big time jump and getting into the action now (as in this is where the summary starts to make sense). So yeah, she's 14 now. I was thinking about making this story based off of I'm Here, but then decided not to (I hate monotony). And, in case anyone is wondering, Jessica and Jess are interchangeable**

August 26th. First day of school… first day of high school. Jess was looking forward to this day. She got up and ran downstairs. "Hi Mom! Hi Dad!" she said with a smile on her face as she put a slice of bread in the toaster.

"Morning," Diana said. "Excited?"

"Are you kidding? This is the most exciting day of my life! I can officially say I'm in high school!"

Diana sighed. "Yeah. Hard to believe that you're growing up so fast. No one else has grown up as fast as you."

Jess crinkled her eyebrows in confusion. "What?"

Dan stood up. "What your mother means is that she's, uh…"

"Tell me later. I gotta get going. Me and Nikki are going to school together."

"Do you guys need a ride?"

"Uh, no. We're good. Thank you anyway, Dad. I'll see ya." Jess took her piece of toast and ran out the door, where her friend, Nikki Andrews, was sitting on the top step. "Hey!"

Nikki looked at Jess like she was an alien. "It's about time. Where were you?" she demanded.

"My mom was talking to me like I had siblings again and you know my dad."

"Yeah. You know, I'm beginning to think that something is up."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, didn't your mom call you Nat once?"

"Yeah, once. Not more than once, though."

"And every year at our grade school Christmas pageant, your mother would always cry whenever she heard the name Gabriel?"

"I always thought it was just one of those things, like maybe Mom was thinking about how brave Mary was, or maybe that Gabriel was good or something?"

"Jess, I think those are the names of dead children… and you might be next."

"NO WAY!"

"Jessica!" someone shouted. Jess looked back, only to see a guy she had known in the past but didn't really know running after her. "Hi!"

"Who are you?" Jess shouted.

"Well, we've only been in the same class since 3rd grade. I'm Martin Fitzgerald, better known as the guy who killed the fish in 5th grade."

"Oh, I remember you now. What do you want?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to say hi… bye."

Martin ran off and Nikki laughed. "I think he's got a crush on you," she said.

"I don't think so," Jess disagreed. "Who'd wanna have a crush on someone with Cindy Brady-like curls and has to wear glasses for reading?"

"Martin. Hey, we better hurry up. We don't wanna be dumbass freshmen."

"Right."

Meanwhile, Dan was far beyond pissed with Diana. "For the gazillionth time, she can NEVER find out about Gabe and Natalie!" he yelled.

"Daniel, she's 14 now! She's old enough to take the truth!" Diana retorted.

"Yeah, but then she'll know that we've been lying to her throughout her whole life."

"Leaving out isn't the same thing as lying. She'll be fine."

"Diana!"

"I'll prove it to you. After school, we'll tell her."

"No we won't. I'll be at work, and you have to visit Dr. Madden today."

"No I don't."

"I scheduled an emergency appointment for you at 3, so you better go."

"Fine."

Unfortunately for Jessica, high school was not very exciting. She already regretted taking honors math and honors science, the lunches in high school were more disgusting than in grade school and she got lost in the hallways 5 times. As soon as she got home, she was surprised to see that no one was there. "Time to investigate," she muttered as she put her books down ("why did high school have to give so much homework on the first day?" she wondered). She walked to the room that her mother called 'haunted' and walked in, only to see that it was still as messy as it was when she saw it 11 years ago. She looked around and saw a notebook on the ground. On the cover was written in neat handwriting 'Property of Natalie Double K Goodman. PRIVATE'. Intrigued, Jess opened to the first page and read it:

"Hello Boring Notebook:

I'm not gonna call you diary, cuz that sounds pre-k-ish. Let me tell you, 8th grade sucks. Henry doesn't go here anymore and I have no friends. Since 5th grade, I have been told to kill myself, but I'll never know why I didn't…"

Jess stopped reading and flipped to the last page.

"I'm leaving my life now. Mom will never get over Gabe and will never give a shit about me, and when was the last time Dad noticed how sad and depressed I was. I know I'll hurt Henry, but there are so many girls out there that love him. Natalie Kristin Goodman and Henry David Glaceau forever. Goodbye, Boring Notebook."

Jess gasped. "Oh my god! I DO have a sister… and a brother too! But why did they lie to me?"

**okay, I admit that this was stupid, but I have so many other ideas planned. Don't hate me now!**


	3. Chapter 3

**FINALLY! Okay, I'm sorry it's been, like, 2 weeks, but my brain was turned to mush and I had some studying to do (I failed that test though… darn…). Oh well, forget that. So, this chapter is shorter than I would have wanted it to be, but hopefully Friday I'll have a longer chapter. I would like to thank the Academy for testing days! (got out at 11:30, yay!)**

Dinnertime that evening was awkward. Dan and Diana were excited to hear about Jess's first day of high school, but she wasn't saying a word. After awhile, Dan decided to break the silence. "How was your appointment with Dr. Madden, Di?" he said.

"Same old, same old. I really don't think I have to go anymore."

"Who is Dr. Madden anyway?" Jess asked, looking slightly intrigued. "What does he do?"

"Dr. Madden is…"

"Your cousin." Dan blurted out.

"Yeah. He's a psychopharmacologist. You must be proud of your cousin."

Jess smiled slyly and said, "It's kind of hard to say that considering I don't know him. Why won't you guys just tell me the truth? Like, families don't lie to each other, and I know that Gabe and Natalie are NOT my grandparents." Jess was furious at this point. "So why have you been lying?"

"We haven't. You're letting your imagination fly with you."

"If that's so, then why did Natalie commit suicide days before her 14th birthday, and why did Gabe get all the attention? Wait, then Nikki must be right. You DO kill kids."

Dan could not believe what his daughter was saying. "We do NOT. Do you want the truth?"

"Duh."

"Okay. You see, Gabe died because of intestinal obstruction when he was very little, not even a year old. Your mom hallucinated him a lot and cared a lot about him, and that led Natalie to killing herself."

"Then why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?"

"Cuz…"

"Yeah?"

"Cuz your sister was made fun of for having a dead brother."

"Oh, so truth is finally told, isn't it?" Jess stood up and walked away.

"Jess…" Diana called.

"Fuck off."

"Jessica Phoebe Goodman, you get back in here right now!"

"I don't want to… and that's the truth!" Jess ran to her bedroom, slammed the door and sighed, not wanting anything else to do with her parents.

After a few hours, she overheard her parents talking. "We're failures," Diana said. "You know, she's just like her!"

"She's not, Diana," Dan responded. "She has a point. And we're not failures either. Look, we were young when Gabe was born and Natalie came not long after he died. We didn't know how to take care of kids…"

"And we still don't. Jess is mad at us."

"Come on. Didn't you get mad at your parents when you were 14?"

"Well, I guess. In fact, the only time I talked to my parents was when I was mad at them, but that's understandable when you have an overachiever for an older sister. That damn Alice always got what she wanted."

"Well, you get the point now. Jess is mad cuz she found out she has 2 older siblings who both died."

"Wow. Maybe we should go and talk to her."

"Not on my watch," Jess muttered. She opened her window and fell the 2 stories to the ground.

"Jess, what are you doing?" someone called out. "Is there a fire?"

Jess looked up and saw Martin staring at her. "No, you idiot! There is no fire! I just found out that I'm not an only child."

"Wait, are you related to Natalie Goodman?"

"How do you know her? Wait, did everyone but me know about her? Oh my god…"

"Get a hold of yourself, woman. Obviously, I didn't know her personally, but she used to be my cousin's boyfriend."

"Your cousin?"

"Henry Glaceau."


	4. Chapter 4

**okay, I am back and more angsty than ever. So, I'm not taking AP Gov anymore unfortunately and I'm being transferred to honors gov next semester which won't be too awful cuz I'll have a friend in that class (yay!). Anywho, this is uberly short and I know that it's been a month when I promised Friday. Sorry about that. I've been busy as usual. Please review**

Jess gasped. "Oh… my… god… no! That can't be right! My sister falling in love with your cousin… dude, we'd be related!"

"I know… awkward…"

"Well, forget that! This is serious."

"I know. I'm sorry. Wait, why is it serious?"

Jess rolled her eyes. "Martin, I want you to listen to me, and I want you to listen to me good. Your cousin Henry went out with my sister, so maybe he could tell us more about her and her death!"

"That's not possible…"

"Why?"

"Cuz… Jess, Henry's dead. He died a few weeks after Natalie died. I was to never find out about Henry, but his brother told me about him."

"Does he know her?"

"Who, Peter? Oh, no. He only saw her as the girl Henry liked. He knew nothing about her, however, they also have a sister who knew everything about Henry and his friends… we should talk to her."

"Great! Where does she live?"

"Hm… I don't know. I've truthfully never met her before in my life. Somewhere out of state, I believe. I'll call my aunt." Martin took out his phone and dialled the number quickly. "Hello… oh, Peter surprised to… I only have a question… where does Emily live… really… oh, I was just wondering… I won't… oh, I'm not doing anything, you… I have time…"

Jess rolled her eyes again and tapped her foot impatiently. "Come on," she whispered.

"Sorry Peter, I gotta go. Miss Impatient-pants is getting… no, she's not my girlfriend… yet… bye!" Martin hung up. "She lives in Bulgaria."

"We can't go all the way there… can we?"

"Hey, this is Martin you're talking to. Anything's possible. Now, let's go."

"Right now? But we don't even know…"

"Jess Goodman…"

"Oh, fine, alright…"

"Oo…" Nikki shouted with excitement as she passed them while she was out walking her dog. "I knew the 2 of you would be together!"

Jess closed her eyes in embarrassment. "You are bubbles to your brain, Nikole."

"Alright, I'm sorry. I seriously think that you and Martin would look good together."

"Ew! Don't tell me you just said that!"

"Aw, why not? Jess and Martin sitting in a tree. K-I-"

"SHUT UP! You know, his late cousin went out with my late sister."

"Why are all of these people late? Oh, do you mean dead?"

"Yes. If they weren't dead, we'd be related… oh, wait, I probably wouldn't exist."

Nikki frowned. "Jess…"

"Hey, that's only the truth. If Natalie was a replacement child, I'm a replacement child… enough of that. Okay. So, when do we leave for Bulgaria?"

"Soon," Martin said, smiling accomplishedly. "But you have to trust me."

"I do."

"Thanks."

"Wait, why are you going to Bulgaria?" Nikki said.

"Cuz my cousin lives there."

"I thought he was dead."

"His sister!"

"Oh… can I come?"

"Sure."

"Yay! Road trip!"

"Wait a minute," Jess shouted. "Nikki, do you really wanna go or do you wanna come just to tease me and Martin?"

"Hey, that's not fair. We've only been best friends since we were 13."

"Okay. And you do know that a trip to Bulgaria would not exactly be a road trip if we're going across the Atlantic, right?"

"I know that, beetle brain. Road trip is just fun to say."

"I know it is. So, it's decided?"

"It's decided."

"What's decided?" Martin wanted to know.

"We're going on a trip. 14 year old style."


	5. Chapter 5

It was 3 am on a Saturday night. Jess's cell phone was vibrating, but she didn't wanna get up. She knew why it was vibrating: the day had arrived when she, Martin and Nikki were going to go to Bulgaria. If it had been a school night, she gladly would've slept for another few minutes, but there was business to take care of. She got out of bed and got ready to go. As she walked down the stairs, she heard her mother humming in the kitchen. "Why is she up so early?" she wondered. Before she could find out, there was a knock at the door. "Oh shit! Busted!"

Diana opened the door. "Hey. I thought you would never come! Come on in! Don't be scared. Dan and Jessica are sleeping."

Right then, a guy Jess had never seen before walked in. "You know, this is completely unethical," he said.

"I know, but it'll be worth it…"

Jess couldn't bear to hear anymore. She took her suitcase and walked right out the door. Neither Diana nor the guy saw a thing.

At 3:45 am, Martin, Nikki and Jess all met at the airport. "Okay," Martin said. "Now what we do is we get on the 4:05 flight to Turkey, then we backtrack to Bulgaria."

"That's stupid," Nikki said. "Really stupid. Why backtrack when we can just… go?"

"Cuz backtracking is fun… and plus, Emily doesn't even know that I exist. She left America before I was born."

"Wait, so we're going to visit your long-lost cousin whom you don't even know? This is PATHETIC! Isn't it, Jess?"

"I… I guess…" Jess said slowly.

"Hey, you haven't said much since we got here. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine…"

"No you're not!" Martin said. "You're not fine. It's like I have telepathy with you. Something's bothering you…"

"I don't wanna talk about it… and I'm NOT going out with you."

"I wasn't even gonna say that. You know, you'll feel better once you tell…"

"Alright, if you all MUST know, this guy came into the house this morning and my mom greeted him in this loving-tone and they seemed like they were in love. I think my mom is having an affair and it's really bugging me."

Both Martin and Nikki stared silently. They had no clue what to say to her.

By 3:55 am, they called people to board the plane. The 3 of them snuck on behind people they didn't know and sat first-class. None of the flight attendants even noticed at first. By the time they noticed, they were already going across the Atlantic Ocean. "Who are you kids here with?" the flight attendant wanted to know.

Martin stood up and said with an accent, "Why, lady, I reckon we're here with our Mamaw. She had to go use the toilet, so that's why we're not with her."

"Okay. Just behave."

"Oh we will, lady. We will. Buh-bye."

As soon as the flight attendant was out of earshot, the 3 of them giggled. "How'd you learn to talk like that?" Nikki said.

"It's just something I studied when I took acting classes when I was younger," Martin explained. "Obviously, I don't act anymore, cuz I thought it was stupid, but having those skills sure is useful."

"I'll say."

Meanwhile, Dan was knocking on Jess's door. "Hey, Jess. I know things have been tough between us, but can we please talk? I know you're up." Dan waited a moment, then knocked again. "Please honey. Just for a minute. You know we love you, even with your…" Dan had opened the door and noticed the empty bedroom. "DI!"

Diana ran to Dan. "What happened?" she wanted to know.

"Where is she? Jess is gone!"

"What do you mean? She's not gone… is she?" Diana noticed the empty bedroom. "Maybe she got up early to be with friends. I did stuff like that too when I was 14…"

Dan sighed in frustration. "We have to do something… pronto."


	6. Chapter 6

**okay, I know it's been a month and a half since I last updated this. I am sorry about that. I've been so busy with other stories and wasn't sure what I wanted to do. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but it does cut some of the story in half. I think this story is almost done. Please review, and, if you have any ideas, feel free to leave them (: **

It was morning. Jess, Nikki and Martin had finally arrived in Bulgaria. Martin was feeling rather optimistic, whereas Jess and Nikki were ready to kill him. "This is taking forever," Jess groaned. "Do you even know where she lives?"

"Yeah!" Martin said happily. "I asked her brother for the address. In fact…" Martin pointed to the house that was nearby. "She lives there." Martin ran to the house, up the steps and knocked on the door as Jess and Nikki followed.

A woman who looked like she was in her early 30s opened the door. She looked at the 3 teenagers confusedly. "Can I help you?" she said.

Martin gasped excitedly. "Oh, thank goodness you still speak English! You probably don't know me."

"Uh, no, I don't. Who are you?"

"I'm Martin Fitzgerald, your cousin. And this is Jessica Goodman and Nikki Anderson."

"Wait…" The woman sighed. "Martin, since you know who I am…"

"Yeah, you're Emily!"

"Martin, how did you find me?"

"Your brother told me."

"I swore Peter to secrecy! Well, how about you come in? And you too, Nikki and Jessica." They walked in and Emily stared at Jess, knowing she looked familiar somehow. She walked with them into the living room and sighed. "So, what are you guys doing here? Do your parents know you're here?"

"No," Nikki said immediately.

"Well, that isn't right. Why are you guys even here?"

"We came to ask you about your brother," Jess said.

"Why? There's nothing unusual about Pe-"

"Your other brother. Henry, I believe."

"Henry?" Emily's eyes filled with tears. "My baby brother, Henry. He was such a sweet little boy. I loved him, you know. Sure, I teased him a lot, but isn't that what younger siblings do? I miss him so much. I can't believe he killed himself. I still blame myself up to this day. He's always been like a best friend to me."

"I'm sorry. So you seriously think it's your fault that he died?"

"Either me or Natalie Goodman. Natalie was his girlfriend. They loved each other. Natalie committed suicide shortly before the end of the school year."

"I know she did."

"How do you know?"

"Because…" Jess smiled. "I'm her sister."

"Wait… you, Jessica, are a sibling of Natalie?"

"Yep. Why do you ask?"

"This is just ridiculous. I didn't know Natalie had a sister."

"I was born nearly 2 years after she died."

"Oh."

"Awkward…" Martin muttered.

"Well, I didn't know that you were a cousin of me. Now, who's Nikki related to? You?" Emily pointed to Martin. "Or you?" Emily pointed to Jess.

"Neither of them," Nikki said. "I'm just Jessie's bestest friend, practically her sister, and Martin's future practical sister-in-law."

Jess gasped and punched Nikki in the arm. "You PROMISED me that you wouldn't tease about me and Martin. I don't like him like that!"

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it."

Jess ignored Nikki. "Emily, why did you move…" Jess's phone rang. "Excuse me." Jess answered her phone. "Hello!"

"JESSICA PHOEBE GOODMAN!" Dan yelled from the other end of the phone.

"Hi Daddy!"

"Don't you be 'hi Daddy'-ing me! Where the hell are you?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"Jessica, I am your father. Tell me where you are. You have me and your mother scared to death."

"Ha, I am sure that Mom doesn't care. When I left, I saw her answer the door to someone I never met before in my life, telling him not to worry because me and you were sleeping."

"That is not the point. Where are you so I can pick you up and bring you home?"

"Um, I don't think that's possible, unless the car can go over oceans."

"What do you mean?"

"Um, I'm in Bulgaria…"

"BULGARIA?"

"It's not a bad as it seems…"

"What the hell are you doing in Bulgaria?"

"I'm talking to Emily."

"Emily who?"

"Henry's sister Emily."

Dan was quiet for a moment. "How do you know about Henry?"

"I read about it in Natalie's diary. Since you and Mom wouldn't tell me anything, I found her diary and we went to her to find out more about Natalie."

Dan sighed. "Jess, please. Just come home, okay? We need to have a long discussion."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye. I love you."

Jess hung up. "I'm screwed," she sighed.


End file.
